


Sometimes Apologies Aren't Enough

by charactersreadtheirstorysfan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Harry, Drabbles, Dumbledore is not all good, Gen, George lost Fred, Harry's there to comfort him, He lived in the wizarding world but didn't have any friends when he got to Hogwarts besides Harry?, If there's two things Harry's good at, McGonagall loves her lions, Ron being suspicious, Snape has feelings, and the fact it was kinda glossed over, and understanding grief, but not all bad, harry was canon abused, it's killing dark lords, lets not forget that, sketchy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charactersreadtheirstorysfan/pseuds/charactersreadtheirstorysfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some things there can be no forgiveness. Some things hurt too much, cut too deep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sometimes Apologies Aren't Enough

Chapter 1: Sometimes Apologies Aren't Enough

It was a celebratory feast at Hogwarts. Conversations were in abundance on the tables full of food and the castle was full of dark, earthy tones. It was a time of thanks and family. Tonight there were no Gryffindors or Slytherins, no house rivalries, because a boy had won the war; a boy and the Slytherins were aware, perhaps better than anyone else, what he had to sacrifice to win it.

After all, Harry trusted Severus Snape and it was no secret that Severus told his snakes everything. It was that faith that Severus had in all of his snakes that allowed Harry to trust them with information that he shared with no one else.

Tonight, though, was a time of friends, family, and warm memories. All the bad memories were pushed to the side to make room for the lull and calmness that only loved ones could provide.

-Line Break-

Dumbledore watches all of the festivities from his place at the head of the staff table. His beard neatly bound and wearing his sophisticated dove-gray robe that he only wears for special occasions. His blue, blue eyes peered over half-moon spectacles at his students and though he tried not to, his eyes zeroed in on the raven hair of his most prized student.

Harry was walking and laughing, laughing and that was still a rare thing even a year and a half after Sirius' death, with his two best friends Draco and Hermione. Part of Dumbledore wondered what had happened to the original trio but he knew that Harry would never tell him now. Dumbledore kept his eyes on that raven hair and sparkling eyes, which were so striking today because they were normally dull with shadows, even as Severus and Minerva slipped into chairs beside him.

"How is he?" Minerva asks Dumbledore quietly. Severus and Minerva watch as Dumbledore closes his eyes with something not unlike pain, not unlike despair.

"I talked with him." Dumbledore says and does not elaborate. For how can he dare to put into words what has happened to that young, troubled boy?

"What did he say?" Severus demands because his first loyalty is no longer to Dumbledore, not after what he had done. He made that oath to Lilly to protect her son and once he discovered what Dumbledore intended to do he went straight to Harry and never looked back. He became a known protector and one of Harry's confidents and Severus hasn't been this happy in years.

So anything that threatens the boy, threatens Harry, must be eliminated.

Dumbledore sighs and suddenly he looks like a withered, grievanced old man. Minerva looks at him, someone she would have done anything for even half a year ago and feels no pity.

It is, after all, nothing less than he deserves after what he has done.

"He will not trust me," Dumbledore croaks brokenly, "Not ever again." Dumbledore doesn't mention how this is his second failure- and the worse of the two because it is his own fault and because, in the end, he chose to do this. The carelessness of temper and youth that caused the death of his beloved Arianna is nothing next to the cold, cruel manipulation he used on Harry.

'A lamb for slaughter, indeed.' He thinks grimly to himself thinking back to the words Serverus had spewed at him after he was informed of Dumbledore's best and worst plan. Best because it would defeat the darkest wizard the world had ever seen and worst because it willing sacrificed one the brightest, kindest children to ever be born to the Wizarding World.

Minerva and Severus look at him and their scowls have lessened but neither look sorry- they can't be; they won't be in light of what they know.

"Can you blame him?" Serverus asks honestly. Because he knows Dumbledore deserves this. And though Minerva aches to defend the Headmaster, she holds her tongue, because she knows what he has done.

Dumbledore looks at Harry and thinks of all the triumphs he has had- thanks to Ablus' pushes. He had made Harry a hero-famous. Just like Dumbledore himself. But looking at the shadow's in Harry's eyes, which he has learned to hide so well, Dumbledore is ashamed.

Sometimes, Dumbledore would look at Harry and the things he has accomplished, that even he himself would be hard pressed to achieve- and thinks he can be redeemed.

For tampering and always, always making Harry go back to his own personal Hell, so Dumbledore could try to forge a more useful weapon in the flames of the Dursley's cruelties to better fight the dark that Dumbledore himself encouraged Harry to encounter.

But then he looks at Harry, a boy, a child but at the same time neither because Harry has suffered a lot more than Albus thought anyone could live through and so Harry could never be considered a child, not ever again.

And wasn't that one of the saddest things of all?

"He won't forgive me now. But alas, Severus, I cannot know the future." Except in this case he does. And he knows he will never be forgiven.

Severus says nothing as he stands and glides down from the head table to where Harry is sitting. He bends, whispering into Harry's ear before he sweeps out the room, only pausing to glower at those who stared.

After Severus departs, Dumbledore stands and makes his speech and watches as the students and the rest of the teachers file out of the Great Hall to return to their rooms. In a few short minutes only Dumbledore and Minerva are left.

"Albus-stop. Stop your plans now. You have lost the trust of a boy who began by only trusting you. So stop interfering in other people's lives before you do something even worse. Because if your next 'genius plan' ends up going wrong, then just like the mistakes you made with Harry, you will only have yourself to blame." Then with an impressive flourish of her robes Minerva was gone as well.

-Line Break-

If anyone had looked into the Great Hall later that night they would have seen slow tears fall down the great Albus Dumbledore's cheeks as he wondered, 'Who was really the evil man in the end?'

The man who announced he was evil and was honest with his intentions or the man who hid behind a grandfatherly demeanor and manipulated the lives of others behind the scenes?


	2. The End of the Trio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron is a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not trying to bash Ronald Weasley, just pointing out some inconstancies I saw in the books but it may come across as bashing. I hope you enjoy my story anyway!

Chapter 2: The End of the Trio

Ronald Weasley was a multitude of things: a brother, a friend, a food lover, a red head, a dueler, funny, and sarcastic but perhaps his most defining trait was self-centeredness.

Yes, perhaps self-centeredness is the most accurate description of one Ronald Weasley.

He never grew out of it, never even tried and it ruined his life.

-Line break-

All he sees through the anger red haze in his eyes is Hermione and Harry sitting at the long, polished table laughing as Harry points to something in the old, leather book he's holding.

(This shouldn't bother him because while it isn't unusual to see Hermione laughing Harry was a different story. Harry had hardly laughed since the day Sirius – Harry's UncleBrotherLastChanceofEscape – died)

But all he felt was fury and with it the bubbling rage of words thought but never spoken. (Because some thoughts are too horrible to speak no matter how true)

Words Draco Malfoy had said in less explicit terms, because even Malfoy had lines he would never cross, sprang to Ronald's tongue. But even with the knowledge that even Harry's rival would never utter these following words Ron found he couldn't stop himself.

"You have no family." These words were worse than Malfoy's jibes about Harry's parents (because while Harry loved them, he never knew them) Ron had just denied Harry being a part of the Weasley family and that wasn't true, could never be true because Ron was still convinced that some of his brother's – the twins- loved Harry more than him.

All these thoughts passed in a heartbeat all centered around one thought- he had (finally) gone too far.

Harry reared back – almost falling out of his seat and throwing the book he had been showing Hermione about different battle strategies over his head in an instinctual action to move away from what was causing him pain.

He reared back like he had been sucker punched- and in a way he had.

Green eyes the color of emeralds, of clover, of bright summer days, and of the Avada Kedavra curse filled with hurt and clouded in disappointment.

Ron feels a brief flash of regret but forgets it just as quickly when a fist connects with his nose. He has a moment to think, 'this must be what Malfoy felt' before a snarling, livid Hermione Granger is in his face, the skin around her eyes crinkling as she glares and her untamable, bushy hair almost giving of sparks with how livid she is.

"How dare you." It's spoken quietly, with feeling. The amount of DisappointmentDefeatBetraylExpectation in her voice is worse than if she shouted, and twice as damning.

There is no compassion in those once gentle chocolate-brown eyes. Not for him. 'Never again' Hermione vows quietly to herself because she and Harry forgave Ron after the Triwizard Tournament but he has attacked Harry, her brother, twice and there is no going back becuae some things are beyond forgiveness.

Hermione turns to her little brother, the bleeding-heart who has to save everyone, and shudders at the despair and hurt darkening his eyes.

"You were my brother." Harry whispers in the heavy silence following Hermione's condemnation.

Harry's words cut Ron like the sharpest of blades, the darkest of curses.

Ron has no response so he turns and leaves, never looking back.

-Line Break-

Ronald never looks back and he never stops leaving no matter who it is he's leavinghurtingbetraying.

(He had friends before Hogwarts but then he was friends with Harry Potter and the brightest witch of their year, their generation even, and he never looked back, never talked to his old friends)

Loyalty was always Ronald Weasley's weak point and self-centered was always the best definition.


	3. Beyond the Dark and Beneath the Cloak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape is not a hero or a villain, he is human and he has a secret (and isn't what you think it is)

Chapter 3: Beyond the Dark and Beneath the Cloak

He had failed today.

Failed.

His oath, his promise, his lily-flower.

(His because even if they were only friends he knew Lily more than James ever could)

He took pride in that but at the same time that twisted, hurt, broken piece of the heart he swore not to have, ached. For she had promised to be there, always.

And Severus, abused and broken as he was, believed her and she broke that promise, that oath (and doesn't that make them even? They've both broken oaths to each other now)

She had abandoned him and in doing so, in not listening to his explanations (because he, despite what he pretended, was a child. A bullied one at that, and the Marauders had worn his psyche down for years and the moment he fights back, lashes out at those who abused him, tortured him, he was cast aside, unwanted) hurt him beyond measure, beyond comprehension.

He loves her still but there is an emotion, dark and greasy, in his gut- unnamable even to him, that he feels every time he thinks about how she chose James Potter over him.

He doesn't hate James because he bullied him (he was too used to bullying for it to make that much of an impact anymore.) He hated James because he lived the life Severus should have, would have, had with Lily, if he hadn't had such a dark, messed-up life.

That is Snape's biggest secret. Not loving Lily, but hating her for choosing what was easy instead of him.

That is why he cannot forgive James Potter ('Lily,' his mind whispers. 'You mean Lily.') Not because of some relationship rejection (he could have forgiven that with time) but the fact that she abandoned him when she knew what his life was like and never looked back (never listened).

And despite this, despite that unnamable thing he now knew was hate, he still tried to protect his Lily-flower's child. And it is in that oath he failed.

He feels calm (broken) inside when he gets the news about Harry Potter in the Hospital Wing. Everyone else panics but not Snape because everyone knew Severus Snape cared nothing for Harry Potter.

But.

That boy is as alone as he was for all that he is surrounded by people.

Some dark, disgusting part of Snape is glad he is suffering like his father (mother) made him suffer.

There is no fixing what he has done. No way to turn back the clock. He wouldn't want to anyway. He has learned from his (Lily's) mistakes.

His cloak sweeps out behind him as stops by the hospital bed where the boy, pale (too pale) and thin (thin enough so he looked so heartbreakingly young), lays.

Those eyes, when he looks at them are not Lily's, for they see the darkness and hurt in Snape's eyes and they know in a way Snape would never wish upon anyone.

And Severus thinks back to when he was Sev. and the tinkling of laughter that eventually faded away and vowed (swore) that this boy would at least have him (as insignificant as it was).

He stared into those emerald orbs and said, "You'll be out of here soon." But Harry, like all lost boys, knew how to see what lay beneath the surface, to see the truth of things. And so he understood what Snape was really saying: Sorry, I'm Sorry. Let me help you. Please.

-Line Break-

It didn't solve everything immediately, not even close. Not after years of animosity and dislike between them. It didn't make them start getting along like best friends, or even friends in general.

But it was a start and they did try.

And months (years really) down the road they could go anywhere and still know that there was at least one person who cared about them, at least one person who would listen.

Severus Snape loved Lily; but not enough to forgive her.

He broke an oath and tried to fix it. Lily ran away (always ran away unless she had no other options)


	4. Love Eternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can’t tell your son how to grieve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to invasionofprivacy for the comment that inspired this work. Please enjoy!

He loved.

From the moment he was born George loved. He has always loved his brother, his twin. But both of those words are not enough Fred is his heart, his soul, there is no him without Fred, not truly (just a pale imitation of what used to be).

His family does not understand. They wish to comfort with words and pretenses and _moving on_. But moving on is just another way of forgetting. He tries to tell his family and Bill looks like he understands and his father is well meaning but bumbling but his mother – it has always been her way or no way. A love that stifles, that smothers.

For the sake of his family he tries to move on. Opens their – _his_ – joke shop but the colors are gone and where there was once laughter there is only the aching sound of silence. But still he _tries_ , he should have known it wouldn’t be enough - not for his mother.

It comes to a head at a family dinner. Bill, Charlie, and Percy are gone so it is just his father, mother, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Harry. They gather around the table and as his father bombards Hermione with questions – which she looks grateful for because a question to answer has always been her best source of comfort. Ron watches her attentively with gentle eyes and strong hands. He has come close to losing her and so now he will guard her in every way he can.

George tries to crush the envy that burns in him that Ron still has the option.

George looks at Harry, Harry who still has not gotten back together with Ginny despite his mother’s protests. George thinks it’s ironic that Ginny seems to understand the break and bares it with quiet grace where his mother tries to bring it up in every conversation she has with Harry.

Harry looks small. Tired. The war has seeped into his bones and he is only eighteen, just a child. Like Fred. Another causality of war if only in a different way.

Harry moves as if he’s haunted, as if ghosts follow him with every step. But he never looks at George as if he’s only half of what he used to be. Harry has always been able to tell Fred and him apart when even their mother couldn’t.

George will owe Harry for what he said to him after the battle had ended. Covered in ash, blood stained and war torn with eyes that had seen far too much he had pulled George to his chest so his mouth rested against George’s ear and said, “It doesn’t get easier. But we move on and live for them. And then you find someone else who you want to protect and you live for them. Then two days, or six months, or five years later you learn to live for yourself. And that is ok George, to want to live yourself. It is human and they would want us to be happy.” Harry tightened his hug and then pulled back to meet George’s eyes and said very seriously, “No one can tell you how long to grieve George, remember that.” And then disappeared with Hermione and his little brother.

George wondered who had told Harry that, who had comforted him in his grief. And the tears that did not come with the shock of Fred’s death come now. For he knows no one helped him through his grief, not really.

 Ron and Hermione probably did the best they could but they hadn’t experienced loss on the same scale as Harry had. Part of George wonders if anyone in this war had.

Harry would disagree and say grief can’t be equated and that kind of knowledge – born from experience and trying to equate it would just prove George’s point.

George takes a deep breath and gathers some of the courage Harry’s presence and friendship gives him (he wonders briefly if this is what Ron felt at the beginning of his friendship with Harry) and asks his family if they would like to visit Fred’s grave with him tomorrow. Because it was time to put some hurts to rest, as best he could, Angelina has become someone he wants to protect and he knows Fred would approve (because once, they were the closest to one person two people could be).

Ginny’s eyes are knowing when she agrees quietly and his father is the same way, his father has learned to temper his exuberance in the recent years and it was as comforting as it was sad. Ron, Harry, and Hermione nod as steadfast as a trio as they ever have been. His mother though, she screams.

With her face, blotchy red with some emotion unknown to him she yells, “Why can’t you move on George?! It’s been a year!” and in the end of her outburst there is silence. A silence as sharp as any blade and just as deadly.

Before George can gather himself to give a retort Harry stands slowly. Small, polite harry who has always wanted to be loved. “Mrs. Weasley,” Harry says quietly, dangerously. “You can’t tell your son how to grieve. You lost a son and he lost a brother-” more than just a brother goes unsaid, but not unheard. “And you have your own grief but this isn’t fair.”

“He is my son!” She argues. This has always been her argument and it is tiring to hear it again today. Like George sharing the same blood as her gives her any right for her to decide what he can and can’t do in his life.

Harry’s eyes are sharp and so disappointed. “I thought you would-.” He stops himself and runs a and through his hair. “I don’t know what I thought you would do. Help maybe? But clearly you’re not and I can’t…I can’t let you treat him like this. Like his grief doesn’t matter anymore just because time has gone on. Grief doesn’t work that way.”

Harry looks so tall like this; bigger than the small, frail child he looks like when he thinks no one’s looking at him. Looking at him now George sees the boy who took on the darkest wizard the world had ever known and defeated him with a _disarming_ spell.

“George, come live with me. At least until you can find your own place.”

And there Harry goes again, saving him when he didn’t even know he had to be saved.

‘Why was he still here?’ George wonders to himself. Perhaps because there are echoes of Fred in this house – but Fred wouldn’t want this. His brother miserable just to be in a house full of memories.

George thinks of brother and his bright laugh and knows – he will find a new place to live. Somewhere bright and cheery where he can be happy again. And he will bury this grief, he will move on and he will start with taking the help of the boy that had always believed in him – since Harry’s initial investment in Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes.

As George stands and moves towards Harry, ignoring his mother and the silence left in the wake of Harry’s words, Ron and Hermione stand and shift to block him from his mother’s sight as he passes them.

As Harry grabs onto him to apparate him out of there he feels something like Fred’s approval and a new feeling in his chest.

 As he looks up at Harry’s face he knows he’s going to be ok.

He loves again.


End file.
